Not Working Means You Don't Work

If you ask anyone other than Charlie Sheen, they will tell you that Charlie Sheen seems a little crazy these days. In fact, most folks will tell you that it sounds as if Charlie Sheen has gone completely off the rails. But they would only say that because he sounds exactly like that is what has happened. He sounds like a crazy man. And he keeps calling into various radio talk shows to try to profess that he's not a crazy man, but I really think that's doing him more harm than good at this point. Really, I think that what would help him the most is just to keep quiet for a little while and stop irritating people who pay his salary. The other thing that would help him to not look so crazy is for him to stop saying that he's going to show up for work on Monday when there is no work to show up for. Wait. What?

Correct. See, for some reason, the guys that are in charge of the gold mine that is the television show Two And A Half Men have decided to cancel the remainder of the production season. The show has already been on hiatus for a few weeks while Mr. Sheen is supposed to be trying to kick his unhealthy ways. Apparently, things like trashing hotel rooms because you think a $20,000 hooker stole your watch and going on weekend cocaine binges coupled with unlimited sex with various mattress actresses really gets the attention of your "superiors" and causes them to think that you might have "a problem". Go figure.

But the other thing that catches the attention of your "superiors" are saying things in interviews that aren't exactly complimentary to those who are in charge. Most people, in charge of anything or not, would not take kindly to being called, among other things, "...a stupid . . little man and a p***y punk." And "This contaminated little maggot can't handle my power . . . Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words." (By the way, in that first quote, the redacted part does not say 'puppy'. I thought I should throw that in there just in case you were confused as to why he would be calling someone a puppy. He wasn't. It was more of a feline insult, if you will.)

So after all of this attention getting and even after all of the times that Charlie Sheen has been saying that he doesn't have a problem with anything, the New York Post reports: "Claiming he is completely sober, actor Charlie Sheen said today he plans to show up for work despite CBS's decision yesterday to pull the plug on the top-rated comedy "Two and a Half Men" this season." OK, see, those are not the actions of a person who is completely sober. Or maybe they are, but the person is just sober AND crazy. You see, Charlie, there's no work to show up for! That's part of what they mean by they have cancelled the remainder of the season! There's no more work there. It's done. And your showing up is only going to serve to make you look crazier than you already do. Please don't show up for your non-existent job/work on Monday, Charlie. Please. I realize that the show's character was sort of written just for someone like you, but even the character wouldn't show up for work when there was no work there for him. He'd stay home. You should do the same. Stay home with one of your female porn enthusiasts and stop giving interviews that make you sound like your brain is riddled with a late stage syphillitic condition.